My Bratty Inner Self

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If you’ve ever tried to lose weight, get fitter, or eat healthier, you know it’s a slippery slope. My efforts are dominated (or derailed) by a brat I call Tiffani.

Mind you, the brat I call Tiffani doesn’t really exist, nor does she resemble anyone I know named Tiffani. And, I don’t call her Tiffani all the time, mostly just for purposes of this discussion.

Because Tiffani is really my Inner Self.

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You know the one I’m talking about. The one whom, 30 minutes after you announce to someone you’re starting a new diet, demands you feed her chocolate and she doesn’t shut up until you finally give in.

Or you start a new fitness program, and you may do great the first few days, but suddenly she starts whining that she’s tired, she doesn’t feel like it, and really, what good is it doing anyway, so you might as well just forget it?

She’s also the one when, my trainer asks me to do something I’ve never done before, screams, “What are you thinking? This isn’t safe! You can’t do this! You’ll fall!”

I’m clumsy, remember? So falling is a very real possibility for a hot mess like me. ๐Ÿ˜€

I call her Tiffani is because the only time I hear from her is when she is unhappy, uncomfortable, hungry, or tired. Hence, I think of her as a bratty, self-absorbed teenager who is under the impression that the world revolves around her and her needs.

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Nice work if you can get it, eh? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Most of the time she’s quiet and doesn’t make a fuss, unless she feels deprived for some reason. Say, maybe I’m on the run and I get too hungry; suddenly, she demands the only thing that she’s willing to eat is a Nachos Bel Grande from Taco Bell. At that point, there’s no way I can talk her down to a salad with some tuna or salmon.

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This is actually an Ahi Tuna Salad I had while I was in Florida. YUM. (And yes, the tuna was rare.) DELISH!

Taco Bell. That’ll shut her up. (Can you tell I’m channeling Ron White here?) ๐Ÿ˜‰

The reason this whole topic came up is I was thinking that I’d been a little too relaxed about my diet, and I really needed to focus on eating cleaner for a while. I’d like to drop my last 20ish pounds, and my current eating habits won’t support that.

After all, 70% of physical fitness and healthy bodies happens in the kitchen. (Or something like that.)


When I want to make a change, especially if it involves food, I have to make deals with Tiffani. For instance, I was thinking that perhaps I should start keeping a food ย journal and simply documenting everything I put in my mouth.

Just documenting, that’s all. Not counting calories. Not making a big change. Just simply tracking what I ate.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it?

With Tiffani, nothing is ever simple.

She started to panic, so I promised her that if she really wanted something, a cupcake, pizza, whatever, she could have it. All I was going to do was write things down so there wasn’t anything to worry about.

I promised her that I would think about it for a few days before I started it. We’ll do this gradually, and she’ll have time to get used to the idea, because that’s how I roll.

I haven’t heard a peep out of her since. ๐Ÿ˜€

Next time you start something new, try bargaining with your Inner Self and see if that improves your chances for success.

Happy Bargaining!

2 comments on “My Bratty Inner Self

  1. You and Tiffani caught me in my Fitness routine… fitness whole bowl of spaghetti in my mouth after 8pm, a true sin in any dieting book! Great article!

    • HA HA HA That’s funny! Glad you enjoyed it…and thought you’d enjoy the familiar “Fitness” picture! LOL I loved it!

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